It’s Your Friday Personal Ad

You know the drill: guess the title, author, and heroine’s name, and win a spiffy, shiny Smart Bitch title, and the envy of SBTB readers the world over.

Military Maiden Seeks Hot-Water Man

Hot military maiden with penchant for magic wishes seeks equally hot ichthyoman for life-changing romance. Must be willing to follow me through multiple timezones, to help me thwart holy evil, and to find your way back to me whenever I spring forward.


General Bitching...

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  1. 1
    Sarah says:

    OK here’s the situation (my parents went away for a week’s vacation and…)

    Sorry. Ahem. As I was saying:

    Destruction Angel, who is having some kind of commenting problem wherein she can’t, er, comment, emailed me and said, Is it Goddess of the Sea by P.C. Cast?

    And so it is. And so I’m going to end today’s contest and declare Destruction Angel the winnah. Usually email is not the way to go, since we don’t check our SBTB accounts from work (imagine THAT history log!) but in this case: congrats Destruction Angel!

  2. 2
    Tara Marie says:

    This really sucks, I go off-line for a couple of hours, went to the post office to mail books (bookslostandfound…) and took my son in the pool and not only is the “It’s Your Friday Personal Ad” already been posted, but someone has already answered correctly—that’s just not right.

  3. 3
    Sarah says:

    Wait, which part is not right? The part where you didn’t take me to the pool, too?

  4. 4
    Tara Marie says:

    Sarah—you are more than welcome to join us, I carried my son through one of the hottest summers I can remember, and swam right up to the day I delivered.

    I was going to add a LOL at the end of my original post, but I thought Candy might yell at me.

  5. 5
    Sarah says:

    You can LOL and OMG and BRB and TAS in any of your comments.

    I am not so large yet that the idea of watery weightlessness is of desperate appeal, but I tell you, 90 degrees in early June gave me a great taste of what I have to look foward to in the summer months of my pregnancy.

    When was your son born?

  6. 6
    Maili says:

    But, but—what’s the heroine’s name?

    [still in pain from having to remember the heroine’s name last time :D]

  7. 7
    HelenKay says:

    One of these weeks you will pick a book I’ve heard of.  Not this week, but maybe in the future.  What the hell is Goddess of the Sea?

    [Note: Dear P.C. Cast, if you frequent this site, I apologize for my ignorance.  If it’s any consolation I’ve never known ANY of the damn books on these quiz things.  And, I’m sure you’re lovely and very talented.]

  8. 8
    Sarah says:

    See, HelenKay, I shy away from the seriously popular novels because I’ve sent sample “Guess that Lonely Heart” entries to Candy, who I know has never read the book in question, and she gets it immediately.

    P.C. Cast wrote a bunch of Goddess of… that incorporate mythology, time travel, and magical creatures and gods and goddessess, but I’ve only read Goddess of the Sea.

    And Maili: I’m sorry. She did email me the heroine’s name: Christine Canady.

  9. 9
    Candy says:

    I was going to add a LOL at the end of my original post, but I thought Candy might yell at me.

    Naw. Read the FAQ. Our smiley and LOL policy is quite clearly delineated.

    And I don’t yell on this site. I just call people assclowns.

  10. 10
    Sarah says:

    Or assbutlers. Or cum-gargling cuntmonkeys.

    No, wait, that’s me.

  11. 11
    Tara Marie says:

    My son was born August 6, 2001.  The day I had him it was 102 in the shade and humid as hell.  He was over 10 lbs and I was huge, I don’t think I would have survived that summer without a pool.

  12. 12
    Candy says:

    And HelenKay: one day, either Sarah or I will come up with a Personal Ad entry that says “SWF seeks rabid Texas ranger who will beat my ass if I don’t get the biscuits just right” and BAM! you’ll get the answer in a flash. So your day in the sun will come.

  13. 13
    HelenKay says:

    I know that one!

  14. 14
    Sarah says:

    Oh no! Not the biscuits! Seriously, we’ll have to come up with a biscuit-themed title for that day.

    And UGH – I remember that summer. I was still working at a summer camp, and I stepped out of my nice air-conditioned office and thought, “Oh, I must have just stepped in a cloud of exhaust. No, it’s not going away. Is this a JOKE?!”

    I hope the hospital where you delivered had uber-air conditioning! Over 10 lbs? You deserve a medal! The baby bitchlette and I salute you.

  15. 15
    Tara Marie says:

    Yes, we had air conditioning, thank God.  I had a C-section, so I got to spend 4 days in the hospital enjoying the air conditioning and all the attention.  I had spent so much time there having “non-stress” tests and sonograms, I became friendly with all the nurses.

  16. 16
    Sarah says:

    Oh man, with a 10 lb baby I bet you had call kinds of extended visits of the non-stress variety. Dang, that’s a big baby.

    I bet you were famous- “Shhh, this is the room of the woman who just had a 10 POUND BABY!”

  17. 17
    RomaBabe says:

    ok- just one question- were any of these Goddess books any good?

  18. 18
    Robyn says:

    I had a nine pound baby, VBAC but with lots of drugs, on August 22 of the hottest summer on record in Oklahoma. 100 degree heat for a month and a half, and 189% humidity. Son was two weeks late and showed no signs of appearing. I don’t blame him. But I grabbed my OB by the throat and ordered him to TAKE IT FREAKING OUT. He induced me the next day.

    I think I know that biscuit book, too…

  19. 19
    PC Cast says:

    Holy Shit!  I had no idea about this fabulous blog group until Darla from Berkley/Jove authors forum told me that one of my books was the answer to a Friday Personal Ad!  You Smart Bitches are hilarious!  LOVE your blog!  Don’t stress HelenKay, too damn many people don’t know about my Goddess Summoning books.  (I am perfectly lovely and breathtakingly talented, though.)

    PC Cast

  20. 20
    HelenKay says:

    But, I know about the books now thanks to the Smart Bitches. 

    See, I just knew someone who wrote goddess books would be lovely and talented….not to mention forgiving and have a sense of humor.

  21. 21
    PC Cast says:

    HelenKay, you’re a doll!  And the Smart Bitches are CLEARLY a brilliant resource. 

    If you’re going to discover my Goddess books, don’t read Goddess of the Sea first (secret: it’s my least favorite).  Check out Goddess of Spring.  It’s a retelling of the Persephone/Hades myth with a twist and a DELICIOUS hero in Hades.  And there’s a lovely masturbation scene told from his pov.  Definitely worth the $6.99 for the book, if I do say so myself.


  22. 22
    Sarah says:

    Holy crap on a crap cracker – Welcome to you, Ms. Cast! I’m glad you were excited to be my Friday personal ad.

    And I will totally add the Goddess of Spring book to my queue of books to find – I love when an author says, “It’s totally worth the $7!” because really – $7 is a lot sometimes when you read more than one book in a week.

    As for Goddess of the Sea, I really liked Christine, and thought she was quite a memorable character.

  23. 23
    PC Cast says:

    Thanks thanks thanks.  But CC was so young.  My editor made me do a rewrite after I turned in the first draft.  She was all, “Okay.  Her mouth is too smart.  Think about – what would you do if you’d been sucked back in time to ancient Wales and put in a totally different body that was a mermaid part of the time?”  Me, “I’d ask to be pointed to the wine and toilet paper.”  Editor, “Uh, let’s pretend for a moment that you’re TWENTY FIVE and not forty five.”  (I wasn’t 45 then, so I remember I just sat there and frowned at the phone.)  So I guess in my author’s mind I see her as too young.  I will tell you a secret about that book…(whispering)…the horrid priest is a real man who I loath and despise – and, for a change, NOT an ex-husstupid of mine.  Ha!


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