After looking at Amazon.com last night and seeing on their site that Loretta Chase’s Mr. Impossible had been out for about two weeks, off I toddled to the Borders that’s sort of near my workplace to get a copy of my very own in my hot little hands. I even checked the store inventory on-line beforehand to ensure they had it in stock. The webpage assured me that yes, it was available at the store.
Well, guess what? THAT PIECE OF SHIT WEBPAGE LIED. According to the nice lady who helped me scour the whole store for the elusive tome, the release date is actually March 1, and it won’t be available until tomorrow.
Now at that point I wasn’t particularly bothered. I had a few other books by other authors I wanted to check out: Duchess in Love by Eloisa James, The Pirate Next Door by Jennifer Ashley and Lady-In-Waiting by Kathryn Caskie. I found the Caskie book, no problem, but it didn’t grab me by page 15, so I put it back on the shelf and started looking through the shelves for the James and Ashley novels.
And I couldn’t friggin’ find them. I checked the nifty web-based inventory at the store. Yup, allegedly they were in stock and on the shelves, and unlike Mr. Impossible, these books have been out for a while. I looked for about 10 minutes more before I gave up, and decided to go to the Barnes and Noble that’s sort of near my house. And I HATE Barnes and Noble with a passion because they ran the bookstore for my university and charged the most outrageous prices for textbooks (I mean even more outrageous than usual), plus I dislike how damn monolithic they are. I mightily resent having to go to B&N for ANY reason and having to give them my money.
Well, I needn’t have worried. Because freakin’ Barnes and Noble didn’t have what I was looking for either. They had every other goddamn book Jennifer Ashley and Eloisa James have published. I’m not kidding. They had Fool in Love and The Care and Feeding of Pirates and Much Ado About You and The Pirate Hunter and A Wild Pursuit etc. etc. etc. But the two books I was actually looking for? HA.
So now I’m in a royal snit. I went on-line and got all the books from Amazon.com because it was just much easier all around. But now I have to wait at least a week before I get Mr. Impossible. And I don’t wanna wait. I’m sitting here thinking things like “GODDAMN STUPID-ASS COCKHUMPING WHOREMONGERS WHERE’S MY LORETTA CHASE GNAAARRRRRRRR.” Oh sure, I could’ve fought my way through traffic on I-5 again to get my copy tomorrow, but then I would’ve been yelling out other expletives, this time out loud at all the buttwipes cutting me off on the freeway. I don’t feel up to it. So here I sit, and stew, and wait. And really, it’s all my fault, a realization that Does Not Help Matters.
Yeah, and you thought I was a regular model of sweetness and light. Now you know: waiting for something I want is not my strong suit.