Sarah: I just realized I don’t really have anyone I can talk romance with who remembers characters and stuff until now! Hooray! Can I just tell you how happy I am to have the opportunity to think critically and bitchily about romance novels?
Candy: I think it’s really fun to dish about romance novels with you, too. I think I’ve said this to you before, but all my friends treat my romance novel habit like a sore-ridden crack whore on a street corner: they try to pretend they don’t know it’s there.
Sarah: I am so with you on the friends don’t let friends read romance thing. I never talk about what I’m reading because I am friends with more than a few people who are very into reading Good Books and my choice of brain candy is so beneath them. I just don’t want to hear it. Even Hubby used to give me a hard time (and justifiably so when Fabio was featured on the cover) until I explained that I like romances because I like the guarantee of a happy ending, and I know with a happily ever after I will be satisfied in the end. Plus, I loooove attraction and the initial stages of a romance – and that’s the best part of any story for me. You know, the, Dang he’s HOT stage.
Candy: Yeah, the Very Tall Husband made fun of my romance books too until I pointed out that he reads and loves Terry Goodkind, who’s trashy fantasy. We actually have a pact: he’ll read a romance book if I’ll give Terry Goodkind a shot. So far neither of us has picked up the gauntlet, haha. Peple who meet me are usually surprised to find out I read romance novels because I can be such a book snob and will fucking tear books like The Stone Diaries apart for being uninteresting, overrated pieces of crap, and because I read a lot of “literary” fiction as well other forms of fiction that aren’t quite literary but are still acceptable, like science fiction, children’s books and non-fiction (mostly dealing with the sciences, I love me a good science book). Their stance is “But you have all these GOOD books, these REAL books to read, why do you read romances?” My answer is: Because I like stories with love and sex and happy endings, bitch. Leave me alone!
How did the two of you steal my brain? You sound exactly me, except I’m, sadly, usually talking only to myself.
This site cracks me up. I wouldn’t even mind a bad review from you two, because I’m sure it would freaking hysterical.
And now I’m going to have start saying “fuckery”.
And there’s a perfect example of why the preview button is your friend. Whole words, just merrily skipped over. Sheesh.
Hey Amy, glad you’re enjoying the site. Besides “fuckery”, try using the word “asspirates” when you’re pissed off at somebody. Or “assclown.” Or “assbutler.” Something about “ass + occupation” is so funny to me. “Assdoctor.” “Asslawyer.” “Asswarrantyadministrator.” “Assvicepresidentofmanufacturing.”
See? COMEDY GOLD.
Oh, and your minor boo-boos are nothing compared to this one comment I left a few weeks back, in response to somebody else’s comments about romance novel villains. I meant to say “Patricia Gaffney likes her bad guys thick-necked and beefy” but instead I wrote “Patricia Gaffney, for instance, likes her heroines kind of thick-necked and beefy.” :bug:
I even used the Preview button and everything. In my desperation, I cheated and deleted the comment and submitted a new one. What can I say? Sometimes this smart bitch borders on being an illiterate bitch.
Oh jesus, reading this entry has made me snort water on my keyboard twice in the period of about a minute. Also with the loving of the site as well the introduction to my new favourite word- asspirates rocks my world.
I should mention that I’m pretty grateful to have someone else who sounds like they have the same tastes I do (yay fantasy! boo TSTL retards!) reviewing this genre.
I do still feel a need to cover up my romance novels when reading them in public – and taking them out in front of my friends tends to invite a barrage of mockery. Then of course there’s the reverse – friends who mock for being reluctant to read the book out in the open for the aforementioned reasons. gah.